Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
