dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
honey bunches of taint.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
