How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We have so much sex to catch up on
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
