high people should be assigned attendants
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
