Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
