I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
