is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
