I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
