Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
