You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
