my mouth tastes like poor choices
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i was born a porn star she said
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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