he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
