So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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