I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
