I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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