I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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