I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
