Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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