belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
