So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
