i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
