i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
