Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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