there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
