dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
