Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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