If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
