I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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