my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
