your room smells of hookers.
And success
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
