It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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