i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i came on her dog
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
