Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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