If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
