I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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