Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
