Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
