Non-Jews are for practice
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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