I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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