No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
