Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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