you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
