eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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