If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
