This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
