An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
