i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
