What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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