i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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