why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They took my balls.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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