I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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