Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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