Church boner. Awkwardddd
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
