she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
