I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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