Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
