she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
